A guide to uncorny romance for the unconventional lovers out there

A little old couples holding hands

A man organises a swagger of friends to sing a proposal song to his girlfriend

Hugh Grant steals a sneaky kiss behind a stage curtain in Love Actually


Doesn’t it just make you say awwwwww!

you and me

My concept of romance built on stories from books, movies and television had a reality check when I was a teenager. There were certainly males out there who’d run you a bath, buy you a bunch of red roses and shower you in kisses, however if I were to generalise my little community, I’d say this species were a rare breed.

The definition of romance that has transpired over the years in my life has become a warped yet quirky version, with my dad being the messiah and my fiancé being the protégé.

I thought about two situations where they both thought they were being romantic:

Example 1 –My dad

It’s Valentine’s Day and dad has bought no cards, no flowers or arranged any romantic dinner for my darling mum. However, he has found the Valentine’s Day notices in the local newspaper and has a red pen at his disposal.

Dear Kath Robyn, Happy Valentine’s Day. So lucky to have you in my life. Love Robert Philip.

He then adds some hearts at the end for a more personal touch and leaves it open on the bench for mum to find. She gets home from work, has one look at the paper and laughs. There’s thought there, but maybe not what we’d expect.

Example 2 – My fiancé

We head out to afternoon tea on a cold winters day. The restaurant tables are beautifully decorated with seasonal dried flowers, candles and wooden shapes. We each order a hot chocolate and share a scone. The warm milk is distracting and soothing, and by the time I snap out of my chocolate binge phase to realise the scone is no more. He has eaten the lot. Disappointed we leave. At the bus stop, a wooden heart is smuggled into my hand. A stolen present from the table. The scone shaped gap in my stomach is forgotten as the stolen wooden peace offering warms my heart

In honour of the men in my life’s definition of romance, I thought I’d put together a list of unconventionally romantic ideas for men. Some may call them bogan, some may just call them jobs, but they could just be the best attempt at romance someone can give:

—Write a little note and put it somewhere I will find it. Jacket pockets, purses, on the mirror,                  wrapped around the toothbrush, on the car keys, on the steering wheel. Doesn’t have to be                    long winded or corny – make it sweet or funny, or write down a memory you have with her. For          those who are still completely stumped, a simple I love you xo (insert your name) would be                  sufficient.

—Do the washing – separating the whites, colours and dark clothes

—Organise dinner with her relatives (if she enjoys their company)

—Go to a shop she likes and buy her an outfit

—Carve the old school love heart into a tree she can see

—Go to the chemist and find out how to stop snoring – is there something that your partner has              asked you to fix, improve or change?

—Tick off a job on her to do list – Is there a list on the fridge of jobs to be done, or a handwritten            note on the kitchen bench? Organise the car service, pay the electricity bill, redirect the mail.
Help her cross one off the list.

—Short sheet the bed or do something funny to make her laugh

And if none of them work and you have the capability to look after it – buy her animal.


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